Dear Santa...A Poem

Dear Santa

By Ebony Farashuu
12-25-10

I found two lumps of coal in my stocking
I used them to fuel my passion
The fashion in which I choose to live
Would rather ask you to forgive
Than for permission
Submission is no longer my strong point.

See, I am now conditioned to
Recognize the bullshit and
Use it
To
Fertilize my garden.

Three years later I’m still breathing
So I guess it didn’t kill me…
I have every right to be a hater
But Peace be still with me…

On a journey into myself
I discovered the true beauty of a butterfly
And I will continue to flutter and float high above those
Who sought to trap me within gossamer nets of self-doubt.

U should have never messed over a writer…
What used to hurt her now delights her…
Brings characters to life as your ignorance lives on in her pages…

There are many stages of healing
And I’m no longer concealing
The part of me that tears at my chest
Seeking to escape that mess of emotions
Hidden behind my breasts
Like an alien resurrected…

Just call me Ripley
Cuz my experiences have impregnated my soul
With a cold dose of reality
And in return I’ve given birth to a monster.

And
Her
Name
Is

Ebony
Muthafuckin’
Farashuu

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

WOW. I am completely and utterly overwhelmed at the HUNDREDS of Birthday Wishes I have received over the past two days. I hate to sound cliché but words can’t express how thankful and truly blessed I feel right now.

My Birthday dinner with my closest friends was awesome and my actual birthday was filled with the calm I’ve been craving for a very long time. It was, after 38 years, finally MY time to actually just be…ME. Who I really am and not what everyone else expects or desires me to be.

There was a time when I truly thought I would never see 38. There was a time when I actually thought about taking myself from a world that, for me, was filled with what I thought was just way too much to handle. I’m so thankful for the presence of God, Family, and True Friends. I can’t stop crying because I truly believe that year 38 is going to shape and define me into the woman that I’m meant to be and I can’t wait to see what life has in store!

I’ve been through a lot. I’ve lost a lot. I’ve hurt a lot. But each experience that may have felt like at set-back at that time…only served to teach me a lesson, make me stronger, and show me how to pick myself up, dust myself off, and just keep being the best person I can be.

In being my best, I have gained friends that really and truly love me and I love them back with the same passion. I have removed those people from my life that poisoned my spirit and replaced them with people who really know what it means to give and receive love. A wise person once said that “If you can’t change the people around you…CHANGE the people around you!”

I hereby designate year 38 as my season of change and I can’t wait to finally start living MY life.