Love and Tears

I cried this morning. It wasn’t a “boo hoo” type of cry or a snot inducing choke on your words type of cry. It was the type of cry that causes you to just stop and quietly reflect on your life as silent tears gather in your eyes but somehow, refuse to fall.

On Friday, September 10, 1993, I lost one of the best friends and brothers a person could ever pray for. Leonard Dale Hancock, Jr. died from a gunshot wound, a victim of the senseless violence that plagues our community today. The summer of 1993 was an especially painful summer as murder after murder took over the front pages and airways in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Most of those murders, including the murder of my brother, remain unsolved.

It’s an eerie feeling to wake up and realize you haven’t heard a loved ones voice in seventeen years. I can still vividly recall the last time I saw him. How I’d visited him at his grandmother’s house and sprawled across his bed as we talked and laughed about the things that were going on in our lives. Five days after that visit…he was gone.

My brother and I had, only a few months earlier, reconciled after a falling out over, of all things, a gold chain. That dispute lasted several months until one day, I walked outside and he was standing on the front lawn. Without prompting word we just walked into each other’s arms and said “I love you”. From that day forward we were tight again as if our pitiful little falling out had never happened.

I often thank God that we were able to open our hearts and allow our love for one another to overcome what would have been a horrible reason to lose one another. He left this Earth knowing that I loved him and I’ll leave this Earth knowing that he truly loved me.

I encourage anyone reading this to allow their hearts to lead them as they deal with friends and loved ones. If you love someone…TELL THEM. It doesn’t matter who says it first. It doesn’t matter if they say it back. What matters is that YOU were true to your heart when you dealt with that person. Don’t allow the sun to set on your life without telling someone how you felt about them.

I can tell you that there is nothing worse than NOT knowing where you stand with a loved one. Each interaction you have with a person could very well be your last. What will be the last thing you ever said to your child, your husband, your wife, you siblings, your significant other, your friend?

I often feel guilty when I chastise my kids and then let them leave the house without telling them what they mean to me. It scares me to think that “a good what for” could possibly be my final interaction with my children so I try to be extremely mindful of what I say before they leave my sight.

The word LOVE is so easy to say and yet withheld from too many vocabularies. It’s also a word that is overused in other vocabularies when the actions of the speaker scream otherwise. Love should never be taken for granted.

If you truly love someone...Say it, and show it before the opportunity passes you by.