Day 10...What's My Motivation?

I have high blood pressure. When I don’t take my medication, my blood pressure shoots sky high! Yesterday, my readings were about 164/105. Not good, considering I am only 37 years old. I say this to point out the fact that I’ve been lax with my medication and with my workout the past few days. I see now that, although I SHOULD be able to do this alone, I need to be honest with myself and admit that I just can’t. Not right now.

It’s a big step, admitting that I need help. I spent so many years dependent on someone else that I wanted to prove to myself and others that I don’t need anyone…but I do. Sometimes we just have to stop and ask for help.

Unlike most men I know, if I’m lost on the highway, I’m going to pull over and ask for directions. Why not have those same philosophies in life? Too many of us are lost in our lives and are too stubborn or proud to ask for directions.

My bible has been my road map, but lately, I have not been carrying it everywhere I go like I’ve been doing the past few weeks. Today, I realized that I have not brought my bible to work with me in over a week. I’m lost. I need to have my Bible with me at all times because when I feel like I need direction, I can always open my bible and find just the right motivation.

Philippians 4:13 is my favorite scripture. It says, “I can do ALL things through CHRIST who strengthens me.”

I’ve been relying too much on myself lately and not letting God take over the things I can’t handle. He IS the light and as much as he seems to be working through me lately, he also wants me to recognize when he places help in my path.

Like, the money I had set aside for that weave…

(sigh)

Yesterday I went to Body Fulfillment on 51st and Memorial for a free consultation with a personal trainer. Honestly, I just wanted to get my free consultation, find out my measurements, and go on my merry, broke, little way.

That all changed the moment Tara McGowan walked through the door. She was so nice to me and she was genuinely supportive as she took me through the many tests and measurements as she assessed my physical fitness. There was absolutely NO pressure and I felt so comfortable with her leading me that I took that weave money and decided to go with six personal training sessions instead.

Yes, I’ve been going to the gym, but besides crunches, treadmill, and elliptical, I honestly had no idea what else to do. I was building muscle without really losing any fat and I was NOT losing weight. I wasn’t really eating right either.

That’s where my next blessing comes into play. My boyfriend’s sister, Charone, is a fabulous woman who has a destiny waiting to be fulfilled. She is a wonderful cook who has the knowledge I need to survive this diet without starving. After a couple of conversations with her, I felt motivated and refreshed. She is giving me awesome food advice and helping me to understand that I can still eat good food as long as it is prepared properly and I DO have the strength to stay away from foods that are harmful to my goals. I don’t have to deny myself; however, since I’ve been talking to her, I’ve been checking food labels and asking myself if those calories are worth it. Are the calories contained in that slice of Dulce De Leche cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory worth blowing my entire allotment of calories for the day and going without meals? Suddenly it’s not. I hope that I can one day be as motivating to her as she is for me!

I’m going to be posting a BEFORE picture next week and I’m going to be honest and not suck anything in. While Tara, the personal trainer was taking my measurements, I said “I guess I can’t suck my gut in while you do this, huh?”
She laughed, but I could tell that she totally understood where I was coming from.

I must say, when she read me my measurements, I wanted to take a steak knife and a Vacuum cleaner and give MYSELF lipo!

Before my first child, I was 36-24-36.
After my second child, I was 36-26-36

(sigh)

Yesterday…..

I

Was

39.5-32.5-39.5

I may as well say 40-33-40

WTFF?

I’m not going to lie…I like the boobs.

I had a personal trainer a few years ago…when I was weighing in at 150 pounds. I told him that I wanted to get down to 135. I then had a sudden thought. I was a 36B bra size before gaining weight. At 150 pounds I was a D cup. What was going to happen when I lost weight?

I looked my trainer in the eye and said, “If I lose fifteen pounds, will I lose my boobs?”

“Did you have those boobs before you gained weight?” He responded with a question.

“Nope.” I answered simply.

“Well,” he said slowly, “You probably won’t be able to keep those.”

I bit my lower lip and looked down at my new best friends. I loved them. I couldn’t bear to see them leave me. My personal trainer could tell.

“What if we just tone up at 150 and forget about losing weight?” I asked him.

See, that’s how serious I was about my girlfriends. Now, at 163, I wear a Double D.

LOVE THEM.

But I gotta let that extra “D” go. It’s time to be the best ME I can be!

By the way…My sister’s scale was wrong. I thought I had GAINED 4 pounds. I have actually LOST 1! YAAAYYYYY ME!

Keep reading my Blog and keep holding me accountable! I love you all!